SUMMARY:
Julia de Burgos’ poem "I Was My Own Route" is a powerful expression of self-discovery and liberation, particularly from the constraints of a patriarchal society. This poem portrays a woman’s journey to find her true identity, free from the expectations imposed on her by men and societal norms. De Burgos, a trailblazer (explorer) for Latina/o writers, expresses how women are often expected to conform to traditional roles and behaviors dictated by men. However, the speaker in the poem chooses a different path—one of self-discovery and liberation.
The title of the poem suggests a journey of self-determination and independence. It conveys the idea that the speaker has chosen her own path in life, rather than following the routes laid out by others—especially by a patriarchal society. The phrase "my own route" emphasizes autonomy and the act of carving out one's own identity and destiny, free from external control or expectations. The use of the past tense, "was," implies that this journey has already been undertaken and completed, indicating a sense of accomplishment and liberation.
The Struggle with Societal Expectations
In the beginning, the speaker acknowledges that she has tried to conform to what men wanted her to be. She describes this as “an attempt at life,” suggesting that living according to others' expectations was not truly living, but merely an attempt, something incomplete or false. This conformity is likened to a “game of hide and seek,” where the speaker’s true self is hidden, and she is playing along with the roles imposed on her.
However, the speaker soon reveals that she is "made of nows," indicating that she is rooted in the present moment, with a deep sense of self-awareness. Her "feet level on the promissory earth" symbolize her groundedness and connection to reality, which does not allow her to "walk backwards"—meaning, she refuses to return to old ways of thinking or being. Instead, she moves forward, driven by the desire to explore new possibilities and break free from the past.
Breaking Free from the Past
The speaker in the poem prefers the present to the past because the present represents freedom, self-discovery, and the opportunity to live authentically. In contrast, the past is associated with conformity, restriction, and living according to the expectations imposed by others, particularly by patriarchal society. The present embodies her freedom, authenticity, growth, and empowerment, whereas the past represents a time of restriction and conformity to societal expectations. The present is where she finds her true self and the ability to live fully and freely.
In the present, the speaker takes control of her own destiny, choosing her own route and direction in life. This empowerment contrasts with the past, where she was more influenced by external expectations. The present represents a time where she is in charge of her life, making choices that align with her true self.
As the speaker moves forward on her journey, she experiences pain—symbolized by "ripped" skin from "the desperate flapping wings of the old guard." This metaphor suggests that the old societal norms, represented by the "old guard," are resistant to change and try to hold her back. The “branch” that was "unpinned forever" represents a break from these old ties, signifying her permanent separation from the expectations that once constrained her.
With each step forward, the speaker feels herself distancing from the “distant familiar horizons,” which represent the old, familiar ways of life. As she distances herself, her "face took the expansion that came from within," symbolizing the growth of her inner self and her increasing self-awareness. This expansion leads to a "feeling of intimate liberation," which is described as a balance between her true self ("my life") and the new opportunities ("the kiss of the new paths").
Embracing the Present and the Future
As the speaker continues on her journey, she realizes that her course is now set in the present. She feels like a "blossom of all the soils of the earth," suggesting a sense of belonging and harmony with the world around her, something she didn't feel in the past. The present offers a sense of unity with the universe, free from the boundaries and limitations that defined her past. The "soils without edges" suggest an infinite, boundless existence, free from the limitations of time and societal expectations.
In this state, the speaker declares, "I was all in me as was life in me," signifying that she has fully embraced her true self and that life itself is now within her. The repetition of the opening lines—“I wanted to be like men wanted me to be”—serves as a reminder of the struggle she has overcome. The final lines emphasize that while she once tried to conform to men’s expectations, she ultimately rejected this path, choosing instead to follow her own route.
Conclusion
Julia de Burgos’ poem is a profound statement on the importance of self-discovery and rejecting societal constraints. The speaker’s journey from conformity to liberation is a powerful reminder of the strength that comes from knowing and embracing one’s true self. The poem encourages readers, particularly women, to break free from the limitations imposed by others and to forge their own paths in life.
SHORT SUMMARY:
The poem tells the story of a woman who no longer wants to live according to what men expect of her. She refuses to be a mere reflection of others' desires and decides to embrace her own identity, moving forward on her own terms. As she advances, she feels the resistance of the old ways pulling at her, but she continues to push forward, leaving behind the outdated expectations that once held her back.
With each step she takes, she becomes more detached from the past and more connected to her true self. This journey is not easy—she experiences pain and struggle—but it leads to a powerful sense of freedom and self-realization. By the end, she feels a deep connection to the world around her, free from the limitations of history or future expectations. She becomes fully herself, embracing life on her own terms, rather than as others want her to be.
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